Online Dating #3! Actually going on a date

16 Apr

I figured if I am going to have an online dating category – or even a dating category – that I should probably go on a date. While I had a lovely lunch date in Vegas/Fantasy Land, it was time to have a date in the real world. And in true Tamara fashion if I am going to do something, I do it properly. I already have two dates scheduled this week (last week by the time this is posted), and just got an email about a third. I also have a couple of unanswered messages in my inbox on “The Site.”


OK. I am really kind of upset.

On Friday, I spent quite some time putting together what I thought was a thoughtful piece about the dating/online dating experience.

It was definitely rant-like.

WordPress is supposed to auto-save every two minutes so I’m not entirely sure what happened. Suffice it to say that my hard work is lost somewhere in cyberspace. Sniff.

I can’t recreate the post in all its original glory, but I will try. I’m in a bubble of happiness today, so it’s doubtful that any anger will show through without seeming forced.

As an aside – I watched the new show Girls on HBO last night. The NEW “Sex and the City.” Did anyone else watch this show and feel mildly uncomfortable? Maybe my 20s were radically different than what women are experiencing today? Or maybe some parts hit too close to home. There was one scene in particular… You can guess which one. I cringed and thought about some really stupid shit I may have done at some points… Also – why are the characters always bathing, shaving, doing their business with each other? Though, my friend Val was lucky enough to step in/put her hand in my puke on two very lucky occasions I can’t say that many of my friends have watched me eat a cupcake in the bath, or handed me toilet paper to wipe myself after finishing my business.

There’s a lot of chatter on the Internet about this new show and people are SCREAMING about how all the actors are people who were born with silver spoons and how should they have the right to make statements about people who really struggle in NYC. STOP BEING JEALOUS!!! If I was lucky enough to have that kind of silver spoon I would have earned 2 Tony awards by now. I’d also have a weekly column in some glamourous paper somewhere. Oh, and I would have traveled ALL OVER THE WORLD. Lucky me! Most people know that life is about who you know…


Originally I separated my discussion by person/story. So let’s try this again…

1. Last Monday night, I went on a date. He was a perfectly normal guy that I felt no chemistry with. BUT – I did happen to think that he would get along really well with my friend S. After a little coaxing, she agreed to meet him and they are going out tomorrow night. Fingers crossed. I do want to mention that when I emailed him to let him know that I wasn’t interested in him, but that I wanted to introduce him to a close friend he took it ALL KINDS OF BADLY. I really meant it as a compliment – that I thought he was great enough for a close friend of mine. Better than “Hey buddy, you kinda sucked and I don’t ever want to hear from you again…” but I digress…

2. I had a date scheduled with another guy yesterday. I cancelled. He had 6 photos on “The Site;” 3 incredibly buff photos, and 3 kinda large (ok fat-ish) photos. Now, how do I know who I am meeting when you post something like that? Also – why are you wearing a Bluetooth headset in EVERY photo?? So I sent him a message yesterday to let him know that I was cancelling and wishing him all the best with his future. And he was very graceful.

3. **Update: In a previous post, I mentioned this dude who had written me in “Surprise!” about my recent joining of “The Site,” because wasn’t I supposed to have a boyfriend? Well, he’s written since… More than once. First, he asked me if perhaps I wanted to share with him the reasons why my last relationship failed. Let me think about that one… NO I DON’T WANT TO SHARE THOSE DETAILS WITH YOU. I told him that it was none of his business. He agreed. Then, about a week or two later, he wrote again to ask if perhaps I wanted to go out with him sometime. Then I had to pause…

Side Story: When I was at TribeFest, I got up in front of a room of people during an online dating seminar and told the group that I always answer peoples messages honestly. So, if you make that kind of BOLD statement you have to follow through on it. Always.

So I wrote him a message: Dear So-andSo, thank you for your nice message but my answer has to be no. I wish you the best of luck finding someone. Clear and to the point. And then I got the following message: thanks cool i thank you for your well wishes but may i ask why just out of curiousity?


Reason #2: Because I am not interested in you in that way.

TALK ABOUT BEATING A DEAD HORSE! Why did you have to ask me that. Was my answer of NO not clear enough?

4. Looks like the orthodontist I met at TribeFest is coming for a visit. Very EXCITING!!! More to come when the details are ironed out because my schedule is so jam-packed with stuff. Mothers Day, Fathers Day, bachelorette party, wedding, 2 business trips, work, life. But we’ll find a time and I can’t wait!

I also must note that I am working on some of my adventure items and will have an update soon on that as well. I’ve also finished a book or two and I’m working on the reviews.

Happy Monday to all and to all a good night.

Please comment – good or bad! I don’t want to feel like I am writing to myself. That’s what my diary is for.

4 Responses to “Online Dating #3! Actually going on a date”

  1. E. April 17, 2012 at 5:10 am #

    That “just-out-of-curiosity” guy is exceedingly creepy…

    • tamaramontreal April 18, 2012 at 12:37 pm #

      Creepy is a good word. I’ve been calling him a goober all week, which I know isn’t very kind… But there’s really no other way to describe the poor guy.

      Maybe he’ll learn from it? At the very least, he hasn’t contacted me since.

  2. M April 18, 2012 at 12:16 pm #

    Does your friend on “the site” need a little lesson? Id be more than happy to tell him what to do in order to NOT PISS A GIRL OFF. Rule number 1: Never ask the reason why a previous scenario didnt work out until youve A) Actually met the person, or B) Have had some kind of physical contact. SHEESH, Rule number 2: Asking “Why” gets you nowhere. Common guy on “the site”….Youd be better off not responding, take it like a man, and move on. SHE DOESNT LIKE YOU!!!

    • tamaramontreal April 18, 2012 at 12:35 pm #

      Thank you M. You are wise.

      While I understand a person’s need to know “why” – I’m inquisitive by nature – sometimes people have to realize that it just doesn’t make a difference. Sometimes ignorance is bliss.

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