Online Dating #5! I have no words.

29 Apr

I’ve been a member of POF for one week. It has quickly become the site where I get my daily dose of laughter. It has also become a source of laughter for my friends. It really serves no other purpose. There was one guy that was decent looking. We wrote for two days and then he stopped writing. His prerogative. And why aren’t men on POF educated? Or at least the ones writing me?

But that’s where the fun and laughter are. In addition to learning what DTF stands for last week, this week I learned that NSA stands for No Strings Attached. But I know what you’re here for – the dirty details.

RAWVIBES18: I’m Justin.

Me: Hi Justin, Do you really have a graduate degree?

RAWVIBES18: LOL from Vanier College in Business Admin what about you? 🙂

Me: I have an actual Master’s degree from McGill University.

RAWVIBES18: Wow i guess you would not want to talk with me after all lol

Me: I’m sure you’re a great guy. Education is really important to me. Good luck!

RAWVIBES18: No problem 🙂 Thanks

Now where do I even begin with this one? 1) A graduate degree – in most circles – is a master’s degree. If you are going to claim that you have completed studies at the graduate level, you’d damn well better have more than a DEC from CEGEP. And this isn’t to belittle anyone’s academic achievements. Just don’t lie about it… 2) What’s with all the smiley faces? It’s not cute when women do it… It’s certainly not cute when grown men do it. And 3) The use of LOL. If I haven’t cracked a joke, why are you laughing out loud? What’s funny about me asking you to define your academic achievements?

That was just one guy. Now I’m sure there’s nothing fundamentally wrong with him aside from his overuse of LOL, 🙂 and lying… but at least he wasn’t vulgar! Now there’s no shortage of that on POF. Sometimes, just sometimes, I can’t resist the urge to write back.

guy4try (yup – that’s his screen name): Maybe up for anything casual? NSA?

Me: Just to clarify are you referring to casual sex or casual dining(Aside: I can’t take credit for this reply. Thank you E).

guy4try: More along sex yes. Not just one time thing though. Preferably regular if we both enjoyed.

Me: Do you have any references?

guy4try: LOL as in? You want to ask someone I’ve been with if I’m ok? lol

Me: Isn’t that a great idea?

guy4try: Funny as hell. If you’re serious and actually interested, sure I could get you a referral. They may want to join in too then though because you’re cute lol

Me: I’m hilarious. People tell me that all the time. I’m not into threesomes.

guy4try: Okay, so then interested in just us playing? Lol

So, Mr. guy4try has no picture online. I’m wondering how many women agree to casual sex with men online who have no pictures. And while I know there’s no guarantee about what the person will actually look like… I mean, REALLY? And let’s just say casual sex was my thing – I think the idea of references is genius! You can ask the reference the important stuff – is he good, does he do weird shit, is he clean (for real), does he says strange things, bring you a glass of water afterwards, etc…

I’ve received other messages that are nothing special, but one guy asked me if I could send him a better picture so that he could have a better look at my eyes. I told him I have no eyes. I really did that.

The orthodontist is supposed to come visit the last weekend of May. I’m not getting excited about it until I at least have confirmed flight details. And even then – we could meet and really not get along and then I will have to fake food poisoning or a migraine or something.

Tonight, a new episode of Girls! I hope it’s a good one. It seems to be aging nicely…

I hope you all (all 12 of you) have a great week! I’m working on a food blog next, and I’ve got some books to review as well.

Please comment – good or bad! I don’t want to feel like I am writing to myself. That’s what my diary is for.

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4 Responses to “Online Dating #5! I have no words.”

  1. Tal April 29, 2012 at 8:53 pm #

    I love your blog, T. Always makes me giggle.

  2. Elana Dunkelman (@Elanabanana) April 30, 2012 at 5:23 pm #

    Absolutely fab!

  3. pehayes4244 April 30, 2012 at 7:24 pm #

    LMAO!!! I’m about to use the referral line now. Genius!

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