Online Dating #9! Always Entertaining.

4 Jun

Yup. That’s an amoeba.

I think I’ve reached my quota of online stupidity.

Last week, a living and breathing organism (not sure I’d classify him as human) sent me a message. I responded with my standard “Thank you for your nice message, but I am only looking to meet people within my religious community.”

The answer: That’s ignorant.

Me: Wow. Really? I thought honesty was the best policy. Would you have preferred that I wrote that you were unattractive and that I was uninterested in meeting you?

Him: I wouldn’t of believed you.

Sidebar: wouldn’t of, shouldn’t of, couldn’t of. OMG!!!! Just kill me right now. How do people get through life by writing this way?

Me: Well, I am happy you have high self-esteem. Best of luck to you. And, it’s wouldn’t HAVE not wouldn’t OF.

Him: Stop being so Jewish lol

Me: Speak proper English. And since when did proper use of the English language become a “Jewish” thing?

Him: The correcting part is more of a Jewish thing. I guess I didn’t phrase that properly either, I should of said stop
penny pinching my grammar you Jew!

Yes. He wrote those words. Swear. He also wrote should of.

Me: Wow! Really? You called me ignorant because of a personal choice and now you’re busting out the racism? Have a nice life.

Him: I wasn’t trying to be racist. Anyway, I know I’m just a goy to you.

My goodness I was burning with rage. Really? I’m just a goy to you? Now, I would like to make something clear… Just because my hopes and dreams involve procreation with a Jewish person doesn’t mean I have no use for non-Jewish people in my life. And what an awful thing to say about someone you don’t know. Add the penny-pinching Jew comment to that. Yikes! I obviously didn’t write him back after that, but I did come up with some fabulous zingers in my head. They never made it to paper, or in this case cyberspace.

I’ve now had Date #3 with possibly the most normal man I’ve ever met in my entire life, and if he’s reading this right now it doesn’t bother me in the least. I don’t mind if he knows just how normal I think he is and well I’ve told him, so it should really come as no surprise if he sees it on the interweb. I’m guessing there will be a date #4, I don’t like to assume.

If you are into foreign films, you can go see Les Intouchables. We both enjoyed it. The casting was a little off from the real people the story is based on – go see the movie and you’ll understand. The music was amazing! And it was just a quaint, touching film.


Regrettably, Girls was on at a different time last night and so I need to wait for it to load onto my HBO Canada on-demand. Very sad. Oh wait! Good news – it appears to be on again tonight at 10pm.

It’s now 10:02pm. I’m getting ready to watch! WOOHOO!

Weird… this doesn’t seem like Girls. This appears to be Game of Thrones… and I haven’t seen this episode either except for the last 2 minutes. Crap. Twiddling my thumbs here for a minute or 2. Ready for episode #8. For those of you who forgot last week:

  • The Girls went to the greatest party in Brooklyn.
  • Charlie has found a replacement for Marnie.
  • Marnie is a whiny brat.
  • Shoshanna took crack or meth or whatever it was and ran around with no pants.
  • Jessa is a stupid woman who plays with old men.
  • Once again Hannah is stupid because of Adam, and this time she ends up with skinned knees. But he might be her boyfriend now, so we’ll see what happens.

Thank goodness it’s on!

Show opens with condoms, peanut butter and baby videos of Adam who was apparently an amazing child. Hannah is mean to him about his ears, but they are being all mushy and gross.

Marnie is listening to angry music and looking and pictures of Charlie and his new GF on Facebook and crying. Hannah and Adam are doing it next door and Marnie has to listen. Adam says the dumbest shit. Marnie should spend time NOT looking at the pictures on Facebook.

Hannah’s trying to run! She’s meeting one of my objectives faster than me. Why are Adam’s shorts so short? Ha! He hits himself in the face with Hannah’s shoes. And he doesn’t eat ice cream. Good for him! And now he’s trying ice cream for her. OK – maybe I’m in an off mood today, but I am finding them very disturbing. And now he’s giving advice to Marnie?

Do people talk like this? I’m going to start paying more attention.

Jessa and Marnie are commiserating about Hannah’s lack of ability to keep plans and Adam and her choice of men. Look in the mirror ladies. And does anyone think they are going to make out before this episode is over?

Adam has a one man show. He’s very awkward, but not completely hideous to look at and now I am mad at myself for putting that in writing. Let’s keep that between us.

Wow, the car that almost hit him – he yelled that he was walking with a woman. Hmmm…..

Jessa and Marnie are kind of friends in this very moment.

Why is Hannah still wearing the clothes she ran in? No comprende.

Oh the shower scene. He’s so strange I don’t understand! And now he’s peeing! HAHAHAHA! OMG why do I find this so funny! And why is she freaking out so much? “It doesn’t make sense to leave the shower now if you’re covered in pee.” Oh thank you.

I think Jessa and Marnie are going to make out. Wowza! Who’s the man in the grey suit? I smell a threesome!

Adam is more insightful than I thought he was. I think his character has developed the most so far. I didn’t expect that at all.

Suit guy is so gross. Ew! Marnie just kissed Jessa! I knew it!!!! (The ew was in reference to the suit guy who wants to be balls deep in something). Now suit guy doesn’t know what to do with himself.

FUCK!!!! Show ran too long and now I don’t know what happened at the end.

Damn. I’ll have to report back at a later date.

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