The NYT Really Pissed Me Off

21 Jan

Like, totally.

So there’s a HOT group that Marketers are trying to figure out. In Marketing circles they are discussed, debated, cursed and loved. Who are they, you ask? Millenials. While the definition of this group is also debated and discussed, it is generally agreed that:

  • Millenials are the generation following Gen X (what happened to calling it Gen Y?)
  • Are the children of Baby Boomers and Gen Xers
  • Are (as of right now somewhere) between 18-34
  • Are connected to social media and the like
  • Are fickle
  • etc

First, DO NOT PUT TAMARA IN A CORNER. While:

  • I have an iPhone (and a BlackBerry)
  • I Tweet
  • I blog
  • I go on the Facebook
  • I’m a pro Google-stalker – BUT
  • I also carry a paper agenda
  • I write in a journal – with a pen
  • I talk on the telephone
  • I have standards and expectations and think that’s ok
  • And I generally don’t feel like being lumped in the same pile as 18-year-olds

So what’s this about? It’s about an article in the NYT titled “The End of Courtship?” I suppose I’m not angry at the NYT, more just really annoyed at the overall message of the article. Essentially: courtship is dead. It’s been replaced by the “random hookup” and the “group-hang.” It’s completely the fault of Millenials.

Please, read it and join me in my anger. REALLY?

Now that you’ve finished reading the article you will understand (hopefully) why I’m upset.

  • I think it’s perfectly OK to expect that if a guy wants to take you out, he’ll call you.
  • I think it’s perfectly OK to be honest.
  • I think it’s perfectly OK to be respectful and expect to be respected in return.
  • I think it’s NOT OK to text me in order to ask me out.
  • I think it’s NOT OK to wait and wait and wait to get in touch after our first date.
  • I think it’s NOT OK to invite me for a “group-hang” in order to decide if you’d like to even spend 30 minutes in my company.
  • I think it’s NOT OK to only want the “fun-times” and run when things “get real” – but by all means, please run and spare me the annoyance of spending another second in your company.
  • I think it’s NOT OK to assume that because I fall into this category (chronologically) that I would be confused by this or think this kind of behaviour is even remotely acceptable.

And then my mom sent me an article “Bringing Back Courtship: Ladies, you have the power to convince men to get serious.”

You can read that one too if you like, it’s actually an interesting response to the original.

To summarize though -Ladies, get some standards (like wise, old, Steve Harvey tells us) and force men to stop having commitment-phobia. To me, the thinly veiled message is that the reason why women can’t find men to commit is essentially ALL OUR FAULT. I don’t know how to type the noise I make to display my distaste. It’s somewhere between a grunt and a grown and a yelp.

Much like the Jews in Egypt – women have to turn things around in order to keep pumping out generations of Jews. So stop accepting mediocrity. While I am all for stopping to accept mediocrity, I’m not willing to accept the fact that it’s totally MY FAULT.

“Ladies, if a man is serious about meeting his soul mate he will do whatever it takes to make that happen. He will call you, email you, pursue you, travel to meet you, and do whatever it takes to win you over. If he’s not doing these things, then move on and find a man who will.” This is a statement I can get behind.

“Men get away with texting an hour before to meet up with a woman because women respond. Men seek casual “hook ups” because women make that option all too available. The only reason men continue to play “hard to get” is because the women continue to chase them.” While that might, in theory, at times be the case. Placing the future of Judaism in my hands seems a little harsh.

And I’d like to throw another idea out there… while our moms were busy teaching us about the importance of being independent, financially secure, educated, empowered and all those other wonderful things… I’d like to know what happened to the boys?

And PS – to the guy that sends me random texts asking me to hang out when you’ve already stood me up in the past. Do me a favour – lose my number, I’m not desperate or dumb enough to answer you.

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4 Responses to “The NYT Really Pissed Me Off”

  1. Tal January 21, 2013 at 11:12 pm #

    I’m so glad I met my husband in university. These bullshit dating games coupled with the annoyance of social media would drive me mental if I were in the dating scene today. I feel for you.

  2. Steph January 21, 2013 at 11:39 pm #

    Amen sista. I think we should all mass-post your list of why you’re upset on our Facebook walls and teach these boys a lesson. Let me know if we have to go-ahead.

    • Steph January 21, 2013 at 11:40 pm #

      *the go-ahead

  3. Julie January 22, 2013 at 10:01 pm #

    Your last idea and your PS are so perfectly put. Can’t wait to read the upcoming posts! Welcome back.

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